Closing Speed - 75th Hunger Games Sequel
by BekkaChaos
Summary: Olivia has won the games and she is back in District 12. She has the victory tour ahead and the daunting task of being mentor to the next round of tributes. Can she keep her secret hidden long enough to break down the games from the inside or will it end in disaster and Capitol revenge?
1. Prologue

Okay guys so here is the sequel to THE 75TH HUNGER GAMES, I do not own any of the characters from the Hunger Games trilogy, I only own the ones that I have created. I hope you enjoy this! :) Love you guys!

The microphone squeaked in my ear as the crowd grew silent.

"Well now Olivia! You have had a wild ride on your victory tour haven't you?" Caesar looked to the audience for approval and they laughed.

"Wild is definitely one way to put it." The crowd laughed with me, lapping it up and loving the spectacle that is my reign as victor.

"Well I think it's safe to say that your visit to District 2 definitely got us excited, am I right?" The audience cheered and cheered, they didn't stop for what felt like a long time.

I thought back to District 2 and tried not to shiver too obviously despite the goose bumps licking my skin.

"Tell us, what was your first thought?" Caesar sat back and rubbed his chin with his thumb.

"I thought about how to answer that question; I knew you would ask it." I smiled and Caesar shrugged with a cheeky smile. "It was quite a shock but I suppose I can understand."

He nodded. "And what did the lovely Mrs Andromeda say to you in District 7? I'm sure it was nothing but kind words?"

I smiled slightly, knowingly. "She told me that she understood why I did what I did. She said that she believes Caius would too, after he killed me for saving him." More laughter.

"I suppose it was hard for you to see her after everything. How are you coping?" The crowd was suspended in a silent lull as they awaited my answer.

"In the beginning it was hard to deal with the fact that he was gone, I still miss him. Even though we only knew each other briefly I really cared for him." The audience seemed to sigh with me. "I am just so thankful that I have a close relationship with my mentor, he really is wonderful."

"District 12 must have been a new experience for you, how did you handle being sent out there?"

"Well, I'm still trying to come to terms with it." I pulled a disappointed face but my acting techniques were top notch tonight. "Not to say anything derogatory against 12, it's just very different to home."

"And how do you think you'll make it as a mentor in the next games?"

"Well I think it's important to go into it with a plan, so I suppose I have to start making plans, don't I?" I gave him a deliberate smile.


	2. Chapter 1

It has been a week since Caius showed up in District 12. To start with I couldn't even believe it. Then I remembered his drive and determination, not to mention how stubborn he is. Caius was taken to the Sanctuary under his district after the games. The only people who were told about him were his family and mentor.

He started to go stir crazy down there. I understand of course, he is used to the trees and the forests. Being stuck in a cement cage couldn't have been good for him. It's not like it's much different now but there is one significant change.

"Did you miss me?" He had said with his arrogant but charming smile.

"What are… why…?" I walked over to him slowly and he wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up and holding me off the floor.

I breathed in the smell of pine and spices as I draped my arms around his neck.

"I know I missed you." He murmured so that only I could hear.

For a moment I let myself give in to it, but I soon came to.

"Caius!" I struggled to get out of his grip and looked up at him sternly.

"Okay, okay!" At this point I sent him away so that I could talk to Haymitch.

I told Peeta to explain things to him when I saw the confused look in his stunning emerald eyes. I know that what Haymitch was saying is right. He is an ally, and clearly loyal.

When Caius and Peeta walked back in I could see the questions that he wanted to ask.

"Abernathy huh?" He said.

"What are you doing here Caius? You should have stayed where you were." I sighed.

"I couldn't, I couldn't stay there when I know that you're here. My mother even told me she thought I should come." I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, so she said if I had to do it then she couldn't stop me. I left about a week and a half ago and slowly made my way here."

"Then we bumped into one another and had a lovely time bonding." Haymitch said dryly.

"It's not like I asked to find you. It wasn't you I was looking for."

"Well I really wasn't looking to find you, hate to break it to you."

"Can we focus please? I can't breathe over all the testosterone in here." I said.

I saw Peeta's mouth twitch but his face was still set in a hard line, unfaltering.

"I want to be a part of this, you saved us obviously, and you can't have planned nothing." He walked over to me, as though the others weren't even here.

"I do have plans…" I sighed. "…and I could use all the allies I can get. So listen up and I'll fill you in.

He was listening so carefully, or maybe just watching me so carefully. His eyes were so soft and his gaze traced all the lines on my face. It was distracting and I know I sounded like an idiot when I was telling him about some of the things that the others know.

I caught sight of Peeta's face a few times but I couldn't read anything off him. He was stony and I was afraid that there were more emotions under his hat.

"I'm in. I am more than in; just tell me what you need me to do." He smiled warmly.

I couldn't help but smile back. I had forgotten just how infectious his smile was.

"Well let's give them some _catch up_ time." Haymitch rolled his eyes and nudged Peeta's arm.

Peeta just got up and followed him, without so much as a backward glance.

"I really did miss you." He reached out and brushed my cheek with his thumb and I closed my eyes, sighing heavily.

"Caius I-" His lips were pressed against mine before I could finish my sentence.

It only took a moment for me to forget the words that I was about to say. I fell back into the dream that I had been living in the arena, not the nightmare part, but the part where it was just us, alone in the world. When I had enough control over myself I pulled away from his embrace.

"Caius stop, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I- this isn't the games anymore."

"I'm not stupid, I found all of this out and knew that a part of you was just playing the game. I knew that even when I was in the arena. But I don't believe that I'm nothing to you. Not when you're so much to me." He took me by surprise a little, he knew what I was going to say and there is no denying the truth behind what he was saying.

"I don't know what I feel." There was more truth in that than I could put into words.

"So don't think about it." He shrugged and kissed me again.

I let myself fall in this time; it was a welcome distraction from everything else.

When I left the Sanctuary I waited by the log for Peeta to emerge. When the light grew low in the sky I realised that he was already gone. I had to race to get back to the village before the sun went down. I was terrified at the prospect of being alone but I was surprised to see him in my kitchen making dinner.

"Peeta! I uh… I didn't see you leave earlier. I waited." I said almost nervously.

How stupid is that? The victory tour was practically breathing down my neck and I was nervous about how this conversation would go.

"I didn't stay much longer. I figured you needed some time so I just came back." He didn't look over at me for more than a second and I sat down on one of the chairs with my back to him.

I rubbed my eyes and held my head in my hands. Peeta walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I get that things have changed, and that this is going to be different… but don't think that _I'm_ going to change. I mean, you came in here expecting to tread lightly and for me to, what? Ignore you?" I didn't look up I just listened. "I'm not saying that I'm glad he's here, and I'm not denying that things are going to change, but I'm not going to force them to, you know?"

I finally looked up at him and he looked down with gentle eyes. I stood up to face him and he ran a hand through my hair. "Thank you." I whispered.

He pulled my head into his chest and put a hand on the small of my back. My lips twitched a little. He had never held me this way before. I suspect it was because of Caius but I would never say anything about it.

I saw Caius almost every day during the week, mid-week Peeta and I just spent time in the forest. He watched me inspect things like rocks, and dig through the dirt and he laughed more than once.

As we headed further out I heard the running water again. "Peeta! Can you hear the water?"

He stopped a moment to listen. "Yeah, it's coming from over here." He headed off in that direction and I followed.

As we climbed over rocks and grassy hills I saw the creek emerge. Hidden beneath a canopy of trees and surrounded by raised terrain there was a little haven. It was a beautiful little spot.

"Am I crazy for thinking that it's impossible to believe that anything like this could exist outside of the arena?" I said with a chuckle.

Peeta smiled, "If you are then I must be too."

We stayed in the shelter for a while, just admiring the serenity. As usual I was eager to head back before the sun set.

The night was like any other. It was the next day that was different.

As soon as Caius saw me he took me in his arms and held me tight. "Where were you yesterday? I was worried."

"I told him over and over that you don't come every day. He refuses to listen to me." Haymitch said dryly.

"Caius, I can't come here every day, I have to make sure I do some of the things that they think I'm doing." I said softly.

"Next time tell me when you're not coming, please?" He whispered.

"I promise." He kissed me gently and Haymitch started causing a fuss.

"Hey! Hey! That's my daughter you're violating!" I laughed as usual.

He always makes me feel better.

So now there is a week until my Victory Tour begins and to be honest I'm nervous. I'm more nervous about being a mentor, but I'll have to take this one baby step at a time.


	3. Chapter 2

"I just, don't, like it."

"Suck it up."

"Haymitch!"

"What?"

I scowled over at him before I turned back to Caius.

"It's too dangerous for you to be going out on the victory tour." He said firmly.

"If that's what you think then shall I stop coming here? If someone were to follow me I would be in just as much trouble."

"I just mean that you would be surrounded by the peacekeepers and then you'll be in the Capitol itself. At least if you were here you would have the upper hand. And being a mentor in the next games… why not just start this thing now?"

"Because, Caius, war means a lot of unnecessary death. More than that of the games. Besides, we need time to gain allies, get the districts on our side and prove that we are trustworthy, that I am trustworthy. Most people wouldn't give me their trust because of who I am."

"They don't know who you are, though, that's just it. If you let them know your story then-"

"No. I want to earn it, I want to prove it." I would never waver on that fact.

"I'm yet to see any of your allies, why should I trust _them_?" Caius asked.

"I trust them, and they can't all come forth so that you can meet them and approve of them. There are so many more than just me in this."

"Well I don't trust them." He said stubbornly.

"You trust Olivia don't you? So you're just going to have to get used to the fact that there are others out there that you have to put your faith in." Peeta piped up.

"Forget it Peeta he's just going to butt his opinion in." Haymitch was as blasé as ever.

"I am entitled to my opinion in this." Caius glowered over at Haymitch.

"It doesn't mean that you're going to change anything." Peeta folded his arms calmly.

"For god's sake you're grown men! Can't you just act civil to one another?"

"Grown men don't act civil, we fight to the death." Haymitch smiled.

It was silent for a moment before I spoke up. "Is it so very wrong that I wanted to laugh at that?"

I saw Peeta give me a small smile and my cheeks went slightly rosy. Caius looked over at Peeta and sent daggers with his eyes. I watched as he closed his eyes tightly and breathed in deeply.

"Look, everything will work out alright, we just have to work _together_. We can't be against one another…" I looked over to Caius. "We can't have factions…" I looked from Peeta to Haymitch; all three of them looked away. "_We_ are allies." I said.

"You're right." Peeta was the first to speak up.

I knew he would be, the other two are just as stubborn as each other.

"I know that I don't have much say, I'm just worried that you would be put in too much danger." Caius walked over to me and reached out for my hand, his fingertips just brushing mine. "I just want to know what's going on."

"I won't purposely deceive you. Not unless it's for the greater good." I got locked in his shining eyes, it happens far too often.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Greater good?"

"I suppose you think there's no 'greater good' than you?"

"Haymitch!" I yelled.

He grinned devilishly and I shook my head.

"I'm going to head back. I haven't spent much time with my dad lately so I'm going to the bakery." Haymitch gave him a light slap on the shoulder and then he looked to me. "See you tonight."

I waved a little and he headed out.

"What's tonight?" Caius said slowly.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Haymitch grinned over at us.

"Haymitch, please!"

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow. It's not like you did this thing to save me in particular or anything." He wandered out into the adjacent room and I sighed.

"What does he mean?" Caius gently held my fingertips in his and looked down into my eyes.

"We look out for each other. Me and Peeta understand each other and… and I have nightmares. Some days they turn into hallucinations and I can't even tell what's real and he helps me to come back. Plus, he's lonely in his house all alone. We take care of each other."

His brow was furrowed and he looked away from me. "I know I sound like such a… well, like an ass, but I just wish that I could be there for you but I'm stuck down here instead. Stuck in a hole with Haymitch."

I smiled a little. "I'm sorry, I did this to you. It's my fault you're stuck here."

"Well, if it wasn't for you, I would probably be dead."

"I guess that's true." I pulled his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze.

He chuckled a little and got that impish gleam in his eyes. "Hey, I'm just thankful that I didn't kill you when I thought about it in the games."

"Excuse you!" I beat his chest lightly with my fist and he laughed.

"You know, the first time we met up in the games? When I had a knife to your throat, and then I had you pinned to the ground. I figured if I got you out of the way then more of the sponsors would be tempted to help me out." He grinned and I shoved him back.

"Well look how far that got you." I pouted my lips out and gave him a cheeky stare.

"All the way here." He put his hands on my hips and looked down tenderly.

"All the way here, stuck in a hole with Haymitch." He roared with laughter and leaned down to kiss me with a smile on his lips.

"You're a smart-ass, did you know that?" He said in the gaps between our lips.

"I thrive on that." I pressed my lips hard against his and pulled away, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head in the nook of his neck.

Now that he was back it was going to be so hard to leave him. I care a lot for him. I'm glad he made his way here from District 7.

"You know, one of these days you're going to have to tell me the story of how you managed to get things to go your way. I want to know how this thing is working, who's on our side." He said.

"After the victory tour," I murmured into his chest. "I'll explain it all."

"I still think it's a bad idea."

"Well I don't have a choice. The games were a bad idea but that planned out. I know I have to be aware of the ball dropping at any moment but this victory tour isn't it. If anything notable had happened someone would have come out here to warn us."

"You're gone for two weeks. How am I going to cope when I'm stuck down here with Haymitch for so long?" I smiled.

"Why don't you take to the surface? No one will be watching 12 and the entrance that we use is way beyond the district fence. If I show you where to go you and Haymitch can get some fresh air." I felt his chest rise and fall as he sighed.

"Okay, but just be careful."

"Caius, I managed to survive the Hunger Games, the victory tour should be a little easier."

"People like us get through the games on luck and quick wit, eventually your luck will run out."

"That's very wise of you Caius."

"Shut up, I just meant that you can't go into anything thinking it will be easy. You better ready yourself for next year's games as well, you never know what they'll throw at you."

"As long as it's not an axe or a mace I should be okay."

"Go ahead and laugh, just don't get all teary when I say 'I told you so', because I will."

I squeezed him tighter and he kissed the top of my head.

As I pulled away from his embrace he gave me a tiny smile. "I promise you I'll keep my wits about me. I have to or I'll run out of luck." His smile grew and he shook his head.

"I wish you could stay."

"It's getting dark, I can't stay out in the forest after night-fall."

"The Capitol loves you, they wouldn't mind if you stayed just a little bit longer."

"Caius, I can't."

"Come on, just a few more hours and then-"

"Caius! I literally can't!" My breath was shaky and his expression softened.

"I'm sorry. I know what you mean. I still can't face the lake in my district without choking." I reached up to place a hand on his cheek and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

"I'll see you in a few days." He smiled in return and I headed out into the forest.

It was a beautiful place but I found myself getting chills as the shadows stretched out over the ground. I hurried back through the fence and all the way back to the village. Peeta was sitting on the couch with his eyes shut and his head tilted to the side. He was sound asleep.

I wasn't about to wake him up, I have no idea how much sleep he's been getting. I started moving around the kitchen to get things ready for dinner. I had a pot on the cooktop and was simmering the contents when the lid slipped from my fingers and made a loud clang on the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut, at least he got _some_ sleep.

"What was that?" he said drowsily.

"I, uh, a lid."

"You could have woken me up gently." As he stood up I could see that his forehead was shiny.

Waking up to a lid crashing on the ground could have sounded an awful lot like a weapon, or a cannon.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Relax, it's fine. It wasn't your fault. What are you making?" He wandered over and looked down into the pot.

"Soup."

"Soup?"

"Yes, soup."

"Well what kind of soup is it?" He laughed a little.

"Chicken, they seem to give us an abundance of meat, it's not like I can eat all of it. Maybe you can take some down to your family, I'm making a whole pot." I stirred it and brought the spoon to my lips.

"They don't really need anything else, they do pretty well. I'll take any leftovers down to the school when you visit Haymitch tomorrow, I'm sure they'd appreciate it." He said as he took out some bowls for the two of us.

I just stopped and looked over at him. He was so unbelievably wonderful. If I were back in high school I would hate him for being so perfect. I'd probably feel like such an awful person for hating someone so nice, but you have to hate those people who are just born like that. He was born into an outlying district; the outlying district. You don't really learn to be soft and gentle out here, they teach you to be tough. No one gives you empathy out in 12; you need to be a survivor.

He is just naturally like this.

"What?" I hadn't realised that I was staring at him until he pulled me from thought.

"Oh, nothing." I turned back to my soup.

I finished making our dinner and we spooned out two tiny portions for ourselves and put the lid of the pot over the rest. We filled ourselves up with bread and I know Peeta would have two fresh loaves tomorrow for when he went to the school.

"Peeta?" I asked tentatively, looking down at my bowl.

"Olivia?" he mocked my tone and I resisted kicking him under the table.

"I was just wondering if I could come down to the school with you tomorrow?"

"I thought you were spending some time with Haymitch tomorrow?"

"I will! I just, I think I need to see some happy faces, some hope." He smiled.

"Of course you can come."

"Will they, I mean, will they let me in there?"

"You're just a person."

"A _Capitol_ person."

"All the more reason for them to make no fuss. Do you really think that they would risk you telling the peacekeepers that they didn't let you in?"

I sighed.

"Sorry, that must have made you feel worse." I looked at him with a 'well duh' face and he laughed. "I just mean that you just need to show them that you're not what they think."

I knew he was right, damn him.

We didn't stay up long that night. I wanted to get as much sleep in as possible before my victory tour. I wasn't going to show it, or even say anything about it, but I had a bad feeling.

"So what is your talent?" Peeta asked as we walked to the school early in the morning. The classes would have just started.

"Well, I don't think knowledge of poisons really counts so I'll be cooking for Caesar."

"I thought you just said poisons didn't count."

"I'm not going to poison Caesar! Poisons and ingredients and natural world items are the things I know about so cooking seemed the obvious choice."

"I have to say, the soup was very good." I laughed.

"I also make a very nice red velvet cake."

"I may be a baker's son but that one is a little too fancy for me."

"I'll show you when we get to the Capitol. I'm sure they'd let you ice it for me." I grinned and he had a little gleam in his eye.

We wandered down the cobblestone path to the school and Peeta knew exactly where to go. He hasn't been to school since his reaping but I suppose you don't forget your way around a place that you spent most of your life.

I followed him through the old crumbly buildings, mostly made of wood and stone. What else would they have to build with? We stopped at one of the smaller buildings and Peeta knocked on the door. We waited a few moments before a small middle-aged woman opened the door.

"Peeta!" Her warm smile was infectious. It soon fell when she saw me. She looked me up and down and I tried not to feel judged but it was like a crawling feeling on my skin. "What a pleasure it is to see you… both."

"It's okay Miss Andrews, she's a friend." Peeta was his usual personable self and she opened the door to let us in.

"What are you doing here?"

"We thought the kids might want lunch, we have so many leftovers and it would be such a horrible thing to see it go to waste." He gave her a dazzling smile and we walked through the door of the small classroom.

I was surprised at the number of children in the class. There had to be at least twenty in this cramped little room. I felt stupid for thinking that it could possibly be anything like the schools I went to.

Twenty pairs of glassy eyes stared up at us like we had something important to say. I heard Miss Andrews whisper to Peeta.

"Perhaps we should just lay it out now; many of them don't eat breakfast in the morning." It's heartbreaking to think about it really.

"Here, let me cut up some bread." I tried to be warm but I was nervous.

I wanted them to like me. I'm not a horrible person and I hate that people like them could possibly think that I am. Peeta handed me his bag and I took out the two loaves of bread. A second woman came over to the desk where I was standing with a knife and some bowls. They must feed the children at lunch. Their families can probably only afford to give them one meal a day.

"We have a special treat for you today! Fresh soup for lunch! Don't you start expecting this every day, it's back to sandwiches tomorrow." The short woman said to the class.

The kids started milling around the desk. A particularly small boy stood next to me and stared at the bread. He looked starving. His cheeks were gaunt and his eyes looked so wide. I sliced off a thick piece of bread and handed it to him.

"Here, go over to Peeta and he'll get you some soup." I whispered.

"Thank you." He mumbled with a mouthful of bread.

Peeta was amazing with the children. You could almost forget that he was a victor of the Hunger Games. They loved him, and he made sure to give them more than they were expecting.

They wolfed their food down so fast that I couldn't believe that all that food could fit through their tiny little mouths. Peeta came to stand by me once he had given some soup to the teachers.

"Doesn't it make you feel a little better?" He nudged me and smiled.

"Yes… and no. I didn't know how bad it was out here."

"This is worst case, in the school system. You can't help everyone you know?"

I thought about that. I thought about it for a long time.

The teachers thanked us and the kids gave us big grins with their cheeks rosy. I was feeling better than I had for a long while since the games. I gave Peeta a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before I headed off to see Haymitch.

"That boy is smarter than he looks." He grinned.

"Okay, what are you talking about now?" He was chuckling to himself after I told him why I was late.

"He's securing you."

"Yeah, okay, you're crazy."

"Well, what are you thinking now that you know the kind of things he does for the kids at the school?" He asked.

"What else would I be thinking? He's too perfect for his own good." I folded my arms, almost annoyed.

He laughed and mumbled something to himself.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing."

"Yeah, right."

"So are you sorted for your victory tour? Not long now."

I sighed. "I'm terrified to be perfectly honest."

"Don't be. All you need to do is smile and keep it simple." He shrugged.

"Simple? Why should I keep things simple?"

He sat up straight and looked directly at me. "When you get to the district of a tribute that you killed, in your case one that you _actually_ killed, you'll feel a lot different than you did in other districts. Don't act too proud and don't be cocky. Just say what you need to. For you, I'm going to say tread very, _very_ lightly in District 2. You killed both of their most popular victors; _you_ won't be very popular up there."

I cringed. I really didn't want to go to District 2 and face them. Haymitch was right and I had no idea how to handle going to a place like that.

"How did you do it?"

"I kept my big mouth shut."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I know, but I want quite the same back then." He looked over at me and I could see in his eyes that he longed to go back in time.

"I wish I could have known you, you know, before."

"You would have if I hadn't been in the games."

"I don't think either of us would have been the way we are now if it wasn't for the game."

"Sometimes I wonder if that's such a bad thing." He looked at me curiously as I stared off into space. "I'm a strong person, I know how to survive. I was taught about right and wrong and I'm fighting for the right thing. Would I still be this person if you had never been in the games?"

He sighed. "I ask myself the same thing all the time. I'm not in the business of changing the past. It's done."

"If I was never born the two of you would still be here."

He looked up and shook his head. "No. If you were never born she would be dead and I would be alone again. Maybe I could have had more time with her, but we had our time."

"So I have one more day." I sighed.

"You'll be back."

"I have a bad feeling."


	4. Chapter 3

I woke up on the morning of the Victory tour with my stomach churning. I didn't realise that I was so nervous. I thought I was calm and collected. Apparently not. I said goodbye to Haymitch and Caius yesterday, Caius was reluctant to let me leave but I don't have a choice. He keeps reminding me that I could just go into hiding but I can't do that, not yet.

Peeta had prepared breakfast already and he was trying to force me to eat.

"I can't, I'm really not hungry Peeta."

"You need to eat something. Your first appearance is here at midday. Effie is on her way." I groaned as he pushed a plateful of food in front of me.

"Why can't I just meet her on stage?"

"She's coming down here to collect you, the prep team are on the train and you'll get sorted out in there."

"So I have to go to the train, then to the stage, and then back to the train?"

"The train is better equipped than anything here in 12 so they need all of their stuff to sort you out. God knows you need it this early in the morning."

"Hey!" He grinned over at me and I took a violent bite out of my bread roll.

"Look, you're not going to be any more prepared in the next two hours than you are right now."

"How long until she gets here?" I mumbled into my arms as I buried my face in them.

"Well, judging by the way she's walking, I'd give her about a minute."

I groaned and sure enough there soon came a knock on the door. Peeta walked over and opened it.

"Peeta! How _wonderful_ it is to see you!" She pulled him in for a kiss on each cheek and he smiled warmly.

"It really has been too long Effie."

She beamed up at him and looked over to me. "My dear, are you tired?"

"Oh, yes, I am. I've been up all night… excited about the tour." I lied.

"Well of course you were! This is going to be so much fun! Finish your breakfast and we'll be off to get you ready! We have two Districts to cover today!"

Right, I kick off here and then have another appearance in District 11 in the late afternoon. "Can't wait." I wasn't really hungry.

I picked at my food and finally pushed it aside when Effie started going on about time. She was going on and on about 'how the Capitol is going' and 'how excited they are' for my visit.

"They cannot wait! Particularly due to the fact that Peeta will be joining you as your mentor. They _love_ the two of you! You couldn't have asked for a better tribute and mentor pairing. Let's be glad that you ended up with Peeta. Not to speak ill of the dead but I think _Haymitch_ may have just done more harm than good." I stifled a laugh.

Effie and Haymitch had a strained kind of relationship. I would say it was love/hate, but I think it was more of the tolerate/hate kind. I'm sure Haymitch was glad to be stuck underground rather than be stuck with Effie in the Capitol with me for two weeks.

I wish Peeta had come along, but I can understand his reluctance. He had family to say goodbye to and all he had to do was squeeze into a suit. I was the one who needed the real work, apparently.

My prep team squealed when they saw me.

"We are so excited!" Clarina sang. "We are going to have you looking perfect in no time!"

I was pulled into a chair and examined thoroughly. I don't think I will ever get used to being poked and prodded and stripped naked by these people. If there was anyone of right mind to witness this I would be totally and completely humiliated.

I had to sit through a body scrub – I was apparently not making full use of my shower facilities – and a lengthy tanning process.

After an hour my skin was flawless and glowing with a rich golden tan. My hair was washed about five times to give it volume and shine and they left it in rollers that made me look like a fool.

I sat in a chair with a towel draped over me and a member of my prep team tending to my feet, hands and face.

Claudine was making faces as she dusted my face with all kinds of powders and I had to really control myself to hold back a laugh. After another hour of making me acceptable for the public they all headed out so that Cinna could come in and finish the job. I wondered what kind of outfit he had for me this time.

He walked in finally with a big grin on his face. "Did you miss me?"

"Cinna!" I stood up clutching my towel and gave him a very awkward hug. "Sorry, I was instructed not to move because of this disaster area." I pointed to my head full of rollers and he laughed.

"Well don't worry, I'll be getting them out in just a moment. He put down the black clothing bag that he was carrying and began inspecting my hair.

"Please tell me that my outfit isn't as revealing as that last dress." I cringed at the thought of trying to stand on a stage with that much of my legs on show.

Cinna gave a hearty laugh, "trust me, it's not that bad."

He turned back to the bag and pulled out a pair of black pants and a golden top.

"They really are enjoying this 'Golden Girl' thing. I figure it's best to just give them what they want." Cinna shrugged.

"I won't argue with that." I groaned.

"Well get up and put these on. Don't you ruin that hair." Cinna raised an eyebrow and turned away so that I could change.

I pulled on the tight black pants and wriggled a little uncomfortably as I did up the buttons. The waist line sat snugly at the middle of my not-so hourglass figure and the cuffs stopped mid-calf level. I pulled on the top – carefully so that I didn't pull out my hair rollers – and adjusted it to sit like it was supposed to. It was very short and sat just over the waist of the pants. The spaghetti straps widened to create a deep V shape that revealed a decent amount of cleavage and I tilted my head, wishing it was a little more modest.

I looked stunning of course, who wouldn't after the prep team and Cinna had at them? I looked slim and the outfit created the illusion of a voluptuous figure. I looked down to see a pair of sky-high black stilettos by the bag. I pulled a face and grabbed them.

"And just how exactly am I going to get up on stage in these?" I asked.

He turned around and looked down at the shoes. "With great skill." He laughed when he saw the look on my face. "Sit back down while I do your hair, you don't have to worry about those shoes yet."

He pulled out all of the rollers and brushed some more bronzer on my cheeks.

"You look stunning, _as_ per usual." He turned the chair around so that I could look into the mirror at myself.

My hair was bouncing around just below my shoulders, all the volume from the rollers really lifted it up, I looked like I belonged in an era of the old world.

"Put on those shoes and walk over to me, let's make sure you can move in them." He chuckled and I pulled on the heels.

My ankles wobbled a little. I have never felt as unsure of my feet as I have in the last few weeks. There's no doubt that there's more of this to come.

"You'll be just fine, Olivia." He put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a soft smile.

"Thanks Cinna." I exhaled heavily and he pulled me in for a hug with a quick kiss to my temple.

"I wish I could tell you that it's almost over but we both know that's not true." He said.

"No, now I have to go and meet Effie, that woman is _always_ perky."

He gave a hearty laugh and took my hand to help me out of the train and towards the back of the stage where Effie was waiting for me.

I was a little wobbly on my feet but I did pick it up after a while, until we hit the dirt road. Cinna refused to let me walk to far – not because I would hurt myself in the shoes but because I might get dirt all over my nice new clothes. It was funny having him worry so much, I know he just wanted me to look perfect.

I ended up having to climb into a cart and get escorted that way. In all honesty, I would rather have walked.

As Cinna helped me up the steps to the back of the stage Effie squealed when she saw me.

"My goodness! I almost didn't recognise you my dear! You have done well Cinna!" She gushed.

"Is Peeta here yet? Oh, and thank you Effie." She loved the acknowledgement.

I could tell that she was over excited. Not only did she have a victor, for the second year in a row, but she also had the only Capitol victor in the history of the games. Effie was one of those people who valued the Capitol over almost anything else, for her this was a real treat. Not to mention her ticket to the big leagues.

"He'll be here shortly, now the mayor will be along to greet you, oh this is so exciting!" She bobbed off and out onto the stage.

As she left she almost ran into Peeta who dodged her just in time. He looked dashing in his navy suit and blue tie, which he was struggling to tie up properly.

"Where's she off to in such a hurry?" He asked.

"How am I supposed to know? Didn't your stylist help you with that thing?" I laughed lightly as he looked down and twisted the tie around the wrong way.

"She did, it was too tight." He grumbled.

"Come here and give that to me." I unfastened his tie and began to re-tie it.

"I've been able to tie these things for years, Caledon always had trouble."

"Yeah well I didn't even know what they were until last year. I don't even have to be on stage for more than a minute." He sighed.

"Yeah well I look like something from the old world and I don't even know what." I grumbled.

"Relax, you'll be back home in no time."

"Two weeks is going to be pretty difficult."

"I was talking about the Capitol." He smiled.

"I don't really see it as home anymore, just the place where I grew up. Haymitch pretty much changed that in an instant." I smoothed down his tie and he looked into my eyes without saying a word.

"Who is talking about that man in here? Not the way to start a Victory Tour." Effie sang in her trill voice as she rushed past us.

"To loosen it just wiggle this bit and pull down." I smiled and walked towards the side of the stage to look at the square.

It was slowly filling with people, not that any of them looked impressed. There were no people in the seats on stage where families would usually sit, I found that really quite sad. I'm all he has left.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I jumped.

"Oh! I didn't mean to startle you Miss Hanspark!" I turned to see Mayor Undersee giving me a weak smile.

"Oh you didn't Mayor Undersee, I'm just a little nervous is all."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. I just wanted to introduce myself but I see you already know who I am." He smiled to himself.

"Of course, you're the mayor. Everyone in the District knows who you are."

"Oh, well, I didn't think you would know, considering… well I mean most people from the Capitol wouldn't know any of the Mayors in the Districts."

"I've been living here for a few weeks now; I made sure to know who I report to." I smiled.

This one wasn't a fake smile like I would give to Capitol authority; Districts usually have leaders who care about the wellbeing of the people. He seemed pretty pleased with that so I just gave him a smile and he walked onto the stage.

"It's beginning!" Effie came rushing past again, dragging Peeta with her.

He shrugged as they rushed past and I waited in the wings.

"Welcome, welcome!" I heard Effie speak into the microphone as the tour began.

There was no turning back any more, all that was left was to wait for my cue and head out onto that stage with a smile and say what I had to say.

What I really wanted was to say that we are on the same side.


	5. Chapter 4

"_What people don't realise about the Victory Tour is that it's not just a way to display you to the Capitol, but it's a way to display you to the districts; as a target. They're dangling you there as bait, like they're daring someone in the crowd to try and take you down for what you did to one of their tributes. They're just waiting in the wings with their rifles for someone to slip up and give them to excuse to punish them for it. Don't forget about that, don't get them angry, you don't want more blood on your hands_."

Haymitch's voice rang in my ears as I stepped out onto the stage in District 12 for the first leg of my victory tour. I waved to the crowd who were clapping almost inaudibly. I felt a little sick. They all think I killed Haymitch for glory.

I know most of them didn't like him, and hated the fact that he was responsible for the survival of their kids, but some of them remember when he was in the games. I'm sure some of them feel for him.

The mayor spoke for a while and I gave my scripted responses. The faces of the District looked tired, weary. They had been here each year with only two victors in twenty five years; one of them was now dead.

Of course they were tired. They were exhausted.

I was so distracted with my own thoughts that I missed the first cue to give my speech.

"Miss Hanspark?" I looked over to the mayor who was giving me an expectant look.

"Oh! Sorry!" I whispered as I stepped up to the microphone and breathed in deeply. "Thank you all for being here today to start off my Victory tour." Silence. "To start with I would like to thank you all for making me feel so…welcome in your district. It really is much different than I thought it would be." I gave a meek laugh but there was not a sound from the crowd. "I would also like to say thank you for sharing your Victor with me, I fear that without his help I would not have made it this far. So thank you District 12, I'm almost starting to feel at home here… almost." I whispered that last part and smiled.

A few people clapped and the others looked around to see eager looking peace keepers caressing their weapons and soon joined in.

The second I was allowed to leave the stage I made a swift move for the door to the justice building and once I was inside I sighed heavily. My hands were shaking a little. This was only District 12; I shudder to think what District 2 will be like.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched away. "Hey, relax, you did really well. The bit about me was kind of overkill but I liked it." Peeta smiled warmly and pulled me into him for a hug.

His hand gently circled on my back until I could feel my shaking stop.

"That was great my dear! Come now or we'll be late for the appearance in District 11!" Effie trilled.

Peeta must have been waiting for me by the door, I'm glad he got here before Effie did.

We hurried away to the train station, Peeta offered to carry me a few times because my shoes were absolutely ridiculous, but we made it eventually. No carriage this time apparently.

Effie showed me where my room was and left me to unpack the small bag of things that I had been allowed to bring. When the train jolted out of the station I began walking towards the main dining car. I would have to get to know this train; I would be living on it for the next week.

"How do you like your tea dear?" As I walked in Effie was looking expectantly over at Peeta.

"I don't Effie, I'll just have water."

"Why not have a glass of wine? You'll actually find some this year…" Peeta smiled a little and grabbed the water pitcher.

"I'll have some tea if you're offering Effie." I slumped in the chair opposite Peeta.

"Of course dear!"

"Just a little bit of milk please." I sighed. "That was harder than I thought it would be."

"Just look at it this way, only eleven more stops to the Capitol." He smiled and I threw a grape at him.

It bounced over to where Effie was making tea and she froze. We both held our tongues as she turned slowly with an irate look on her face.

Unfortunately the rest of the train ride to 11 was not as enjoyable.

I was called back into the prep room where my make-up was fixed and my clothes tidied up. I didn't think there was anything wrong with me but apparently a lot can go wrong in a few hours.

Thankfully the distance between the station and the justice building was shorter than in 12, and there was actually a path. I had hoped that the second appearance would be easier.

It was, but only just.

When it was finally over I rushed off the stage, shutting the door behind me and letting out a loud grunt.

"Anyone would think you don't like being the centre of attention." Peeta chuckled.

"Can we just go back to the train? There are six more days of this, and then the Capitol appearance. I am just _dreading_ the end of the week." I ran a hand through my hair.

"It'll be over after that, over for another year. Try to make the middle period slightly enjoyable. I know that's probably impossible." He held out his hand and I forced mine into it roughly, a little grumpy.

As we made our way back to the train I felt a little better in knowing that I would get to take a break, if only for the night.

We walked into the dining car to see the table full of lavish foods and Effie sitting with a set of glasses perched on her nose. She was looking over some paper, probably our schedule.

"Ah! There you are my dear! So, we will be stopping in District 10 tomorrow afternoon, I'm afraid it is quite a while's ride from here, and then we will get through to 9 that evening. The good news is that we should be able to get through Districts 6, 5 and four all in the one day." She grinned.

"Great." I smiled weakly and sat down at the table.

My stomach was grumbling but I didn't much feel like food.

"Eat or you'll regret it." Peeta nudged me and I was shaken out of a little daydream. "I didn't eat anything between districts last year and I got back to 12 feeling absolutely terrible."

"Okay smarty pants." I smiled and grabbed a dinner bun.

It wasn't quite as good as Peeta's but it was still tasty.

I retired to bed early; I don't think I'll get any sleep anyway. I changed into some comfortable clothes and lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Haymitch and Caius were probably at each other's throats already. I smiled a little at that thought. I don't know why they both can't just accept one another. It was probably because they're so damn stubborn. Part of me wishes that Haymitch was here with me but I know that Peeta is probably the best mentor that I could have. Still, I know that Haymitch would have more knowledge of the Games and how they work, even if he's only been on two Victory Tours, including his own.

I don't know how long I was lying there just thinking about everything, it must have been a long while.

I heard a knock on the door and sat up against the head board. "Come in."

Peeta poked his head through and gave me that familiar little smile as he turned his back to silently lock the door. My lips twitched a little. He was so sweet in his black shirt and loose tracksuit pants, to anyone outside this little circle we may have looked like a normal pair of people.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

I smiled and grabbed his arm to pull him up beside me. He lifted his arm so that I could tuck myself under it. I rested my head against his chest and sighed.

"Washed out, nervous, homesick… too many things to list."

"It's probably a bad time to ask you if you know what you're saying in District 7 then, huh?"

Crap, I hadn't given it any thought.

"I've been too busy thinking about District 2 that I completely forgot about that."

"You'll be okay." He gently rubbed my arm and rested his cheek on my hair.

"How do I know that they won't hate me too?"

"You don't."

"I thought you were supposed to comfort me."

"Yeah well, one of us has to be Haymitch in this equation, at least long enough to give you some advice." I laughed a little.

"Okay so what would Haymitch say?"

"He'd tell you not to say anything stupid."

"Yeah, but he'd say it in a stupid way."

His chest rattled as he laughed. "I think he'd tell you to let go of your emotions in 7. After all, most of them think… the worst. Only his family knows the truth and if they accept you the rest of the District will. So cry a little, get rid of all that pent up pain and project it. I don't doubt that you'll know what to say when the time comes."

I let his words sink in as I listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It made my eyes feel heavy.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"You'd do the same for me."

I didn't want him to leave just yet; I didn't want him to leave at all. I was afraid that I might have another nightmare that'll leave me terrified and I hate waking up alone. Effie gave me a pill after dinner but I don't know if it'll do the trick or not.

"Will you stay?" My fingers fiddled with the fabric of his T-shirt over his chest.

"Of course." He whispered.

The last thing I remember was him placing a tender kiss on my forehead before drifting to sleep.

"Rise and shi- Peeta! What are you doing!?" I was startled awake by Effie's trill voice ringing in my ears.

I don't think I'll ever tire from seeing Effie's red face and wide eyes when she catches Peeta in my room. I think the look is a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. Of course Peeta had the perfect words to sedate her, but only a little.

"I'm sorry Effie, I heard her scream only about an hour ago, she was having a nightmare and I didn't want to leave her, not when she has to be at full strength for the tour." He looked genuinely ashamed of himself.

Even though I was quite drowsy I still had to stifle a laugh.

"Well, that was very thoughtful of you. Come on now and have your breakfast, Cinna is waiting for you." She turned up her nose and scurried out the door.

"She takes all of this so seriously." I said through a yawn.

"Of course she does, it's her job." Peeta started to head out.

"Wait!"

"I'm going to get some food, we're hours away from District 10 so you might be able to relax long enough to get some down, so hurry up!"

I groaned and lay back onto the bed. This was going to be a long week.

It felt like all I did was blink before District 7 was suddenly in front of me. Districts 10 and 9 were somewhat easier than the last, and District 8 felt like a breeze, but maybe that was because I would be standing in front of Caius' family in less than a few hours.

I sat staring into space as Cinna fixed my outfit. Today he had me in a tight black dress that sat just above my knee and a thick golden belt. Again I found myself in high black heels. My feet have been killing me all week but at least I'm getting better at walking without the wobbles.

"Hey!" Cinna snapped his fingers in front of my face and I jumped a little.

"Sorry, it looks great." He laughed and I gave him a weak smile.

"If you were wondering , I was just telling you about some changes to your outfit."

"Sorry Cinna, I'm just a little distracted."

"Don't worry, I thought you might be. Actually, I thought you might be worse than this. How are you feeling anyway?"

"Ill." I said with a shaky breath.

"I'm sure it'll be over before you know it."

"So what were these changes?" I sighed, trying to keep focus.

"Something a little more… appropriate." I almost shuddered at the thought of what I could end up wearing. "Stand up and I'll show you."

I stood and moved over into the mirror and watched as he removed the belt and put it away. My hair was sitting straight down to my back and I looked like another person. I feel like I'm losing bits of myself on this tour. I never really got what it meant to the Districts to be 'Capitol'. I never really thought about just how different life would be for the victors. The Capitol can shape and mould them as much as they like until they don't fit anymore.

The people of the Districts see them as a victor, not as one of them. The Capitol sees them as a means to control the Districts; as a pawn in their sick little games. I look at myself now and I can't see the person I thought I was, I'm not sure who this person in the mirror is. I just have to make sure I know that who I really am is just buried beneath the polished and painted surface.

He stared walking over with this beautiful piece of green fabric. I would recognise that colour anywhere. It was as close as anyone could get to the colour of Caius' eyes.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's a skirt, it might drag on the ground a little but I can assure you that you'll look beautiful."

He gave me one side to hold as he wrapped it around me. As he tied it just above my left hip I looked at it in the mirror. It sat close to my body at the top but flowed sweetly down to the ground. I stared at myself and smiled, I looked much nicer covered up than when they tried to get me to look like a sex object.

I was jolted out of my daydream when Cinna sprayed my hair with a spray bottle. "Won't that ruin all the wonderful straightening that the prep team spent an hour on earlier?"

"Exactly. I don't want you to look like a victor this afternoon, I want you to look like a girl who misses a guy. I was going to have you all in black but I thought that it was just too depressing."

"No gold?"

"Not tonight."

I smiled. At least Cinna knows how to handle almost every situation.

I walked out into the main carriage, my hair now flowing gracefully with my natural wave. Peeta looked up and just stared at me.

I avoided his eyes but looked back to see him still looking over. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, you just… you look perfect for an appearance in 7. You look really different."

"I know." I sat down and rested my chin on my hands.

I looked up at the clock on the wall; just under two hours to go.

I spent most of my time just sitting in the window chair staring out at the forests that we were passing through. Most of it was probably District 7 but the town was still a while away. I never really noticed how big this place was. You hear about the size of your country in school but no one ever travels so no one really knows.

If you do know how big this place is then you're a part of the games. I think I'd rather go on living with a distorted sense of the world than know the truth about it. Though I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.

I became lost in thought again; everyone must think there's something seriously wrong with me. Peeta came and sat in the chair opposite me.

"We're getting ready to reach the station. Are you alright?" He tilted his head slightly and I gave another sigh.

"It wouldn't be so damned hard if everyone knew what I know."

"Maybe not for the tour, but something tells me that there wouldn't be a tour, at least not like this." He smiled a little.

"You know what I mean. None of them know the truth and it makes it that much harder."

"What truth is that dear?" I froze at the sound of Effie's voice.

Peeta looked at me expectantly as if he was waiting for me to come out with a lie or tell her the whole truth in a blubbering mess.

"Oh, I just don't know if they'll understand that I did care for… for Caius." I turned to look at her with my eyes wide. "I hope they don't think the worst of me."

"Of course they won't dear, I can assure you that there wasn't a dry eye in the house when… well when it happened. Can I get you anything? Some tea maybe?" She got a little flustered and smiled meekly.

"That would be lovely Effie, you're too kind."

She dashed off to bring me some tea and Peeta started grinning like mad. "Have you just grown up manipulating people like her?"

"Shut up, I can't very well tell her anything can I?"

"You'll be fine. His family knows the truth and if they accept you then I'm sure the district will." I shrugged and he took my hand. "Relax, okay? What's the worst they can do?"

"I don't know, try and take their revenge?"

"Let's just leave that for District 2."

"You know you're not helping, right?"

Effie finally came with the tea and I drank it even though I didn't want it. I felt like everything around me was moving so much faster than I was and I was just glued to the same spot watching it. It was barely any time at all before Effie was calling me to leave the train.

"Hey, you'll be okay." Peeta offered me his arm and whispered to me as we walked through the train doors.

I could smell the strong aroma from the pine forest that surrounded us. The station was in a small clearing of trees and I could see the dirt path that would most likely lead us to the Justice building. There was a cart this time, two seats in the front and an open back. Effie hopped into the front so quickly I almost laughed at how inconsiderate it was for her.

"I guess I'll take the back, it's not like I'll be in front of any crowds." Peeta climbed into the back of the cart.

"Come on Olivia!" Effie waved me over and I carefully climbed up onto the seat.

We passed a few people on our way into town; they all stopped what they were doing to look up at the cart. There were plenty of people in the square. I caught a glimpse as we made our way to the back of the building.

People hurried around me and my stomach began to feel queasy.

"Hello Miss Hanspark, we've been waiting for you to get here." I looked over at this muscled man who was holding out his hand.

He was wearing a brown suit with a green tie and stood at just about my height. He must be the Mayor.

I shook his hand with a smile. "Glad to be here."

"Come now, you don't need to lie to me."

"Wh-what?"

"I know it must be hard for you to be here, but I can tell that you're a trooper." He wasn't trying to be rude, he was actually trying to be comforting.

"I'm really nervous."

"I'll bet, don't worry, you have my support. Caius was one of those boys you couldn't help but get along with, and if you didn't, well, God help you." He smiled as he reminisced a little and I felt a smile touch my lips. "I'll see you out on the stage." He smiled widely and I knew he was being sincere.

He walked out to face the crowd and I could hear them clapping for him.

"Oh god…" I muttered to myself.

I waited in the wings for my cue and looked down at my shaking hands. I almost missed my big introduction.

As I walked onto the stage I heard a few of them clapping, there was definitely more noise here than in any other district. I waved a little and stood by the Mayor, Hal Greensborough. My eyes darted down to Caius' family on the left side of the stage. His mother had his little sister in her arms and they looked devastated. They looked genuine enough, they were making quite good actors. His older brother, James, was sitting with a gruff look on his face by their side. He was looking up at me with an expression that I couldn't quite figure out. He looked so much like Caius, except for his eyes; they were a deep shade of brown.

We made it through the formalities and I spoke my rehearsed lines. I felt like I was going to be sick as we made it to the end of the ceremonial stuff. Mayor Greensborough asked me if I had anything I would like to say and I stepped in front of the microphone slowly.

For a moment nothing even came out of my mouth. I swallowed hard and let out a slow breath.

"Thank you… all… for being here today to share this tour with me. I know it's not the way you would like to be experiencing this tour." I paused, trying to steady my breath. "I didn't meet Dana at all in the games, but I heard that she was a good person." I looked to Dana's family, there was only a young woman sitting on the stage, it was probably her sister. "I did get to know… Caius. He was truly one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. I know that you might think of me as the person who took him away, and I feel like that person every single day, but I really did care for him. I believe he would have done anything to keep me safe, even if that meant sacrificing himself. I couldn't bear the thought of a fate that was very possible for him. In that moment I thought it would be better for him to leave the games quietly, in the arms of someone… of someone who knew that he was worth at least that.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am to have taken him from you. I guess we all need to believe that he is better off where no one can hurt him anymore." I hadn't even realised that I was crying.

It felt good to be able to get out some of my pent up emotion, even if I knew that Caius was really alive. I looked over to his family.

"I'm sorry." I said softly enough for the microphone to pick it up as a whisper.

Nothing happened for a few moments. I didn't know whether to step back or wait for instructions. I was about to turn on my heel when I saw Caius' mother stand slowly. All eyes in the District were on her and I felt my heart stop. I could hear the Peace Keepers reacting to her movements and I began to walk slowly towards her to show them that she meant no harm.

She took slow steps towards me and we stopped, less than a few feet separating us. She reached out to take my hand in hers and I felt more tears run down my face, I was so overwhelmed.

I was almost shocked when she pulled me into her arms but I hugged her back. We held each other for a few short moments before I heard her utter a few near silent words. "Did he make it to you?"

"Safe and sound." I breathed back.

"Thank you." She squeezed me that little bit tighter and I breathed a sigh of relief.


	6. Chapter 5

Thump.

Thump.

… Thump.

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. That's all I can hear. A constant pounding that blocks out everything else in the room. The room three stories up in the justice building of District 2 that I've been locked in for hours now, guards of Peace Keepers posted on the outside of the door. The only people who have been in here is Peeta, Effie and a couple of people with contacts to the Capitol.

I know what you're thinking.

You're wrong.

I would have thought the same exact thing if you'd have told me all the details even just a few hours ago. But you're wrong.

Both Peeta and Effie tried to break through, more than once. But I can't hear them. All I can hear is thump. Thump.

I should backtrack a little.

After we left District 7 I felt so incredibly drained. I couldn't stop thinking about Caius in District 12 watching the footage. See, how it works is that the morning District is recorded and played just before the appearance in the evening, that one is played live to the Capitol, and anyone with a television. They make sure the districts have enough power to watch the Tour. How kind of them.

I didn't sleep very well the next night, it didn't help that I had to be up early for the appearance in District 6. There were three districts to get through today. I don't know if anyone in District 5 knew about the tribute I saved, Lilia. I know she had a husband and a mentor, other than that I don't know if she had anyone else.

When we made it to District 5 I searched the stage for Lilia's relatives but there was no one on her side. My first thought was to where her husband was. My next thought was that I hope they didn't find out. I felt stupid after that because I'm sure they would have come for me if they knew she was alive.

Things ran by smoothly, and when we finally made it to the train that evening I was exhausted. I was assaulted by Effie's praise and her excitement about reaching the Capitol. I was so close to snapping at her but I didn't. I made sure that I didn't lose my cool. Eventually I just needed some time to sleep. I wasn't at all hungry.

"Sorry Effie, I'm just so tired. I really think that I should get some sleep so that I'm fresh for tomorrow." I smiled weakly and she agreed.

I wandered off to bed and couldn't even be bothered changing my clothes before jumping in. I lay there for a few minutes and sighed when I heard the door click open. There's only one person who comes in here.

"Are you nervous?" He came and sat down beside me.

"Surprisingly not, I think I'm just too tired to notice any other thing that I'm feeling." I rolled over to face him.

"Well get some sleep and tell me how you feel tomorrow." He brushed my hair out of my face and stood up.

"Are you not staying?" I asked.

"I will, I have to talk to Effie for a while but I'll come in later, I promise." He smiled and headed out.

I was asleep almost instantly.

I'm sure I woke up a few times in the night, it seems so unimportant now, the nightmares.

When it was finally morning I felt my stomach twisting itself around inside me. It was less than twelve hours until I made my appearance in District 2. I told myself that I was exaggerating the possibilities; that it was going to be just like every other district.

When Cinna was finishing my new look he noticed that something was on my mind.

"You were a lot easier for the prep team to handle today, are you alright?" He was mixing something in his palette and looking over at me.

"Yeah." He raised an eyebrow.

"That was convincing."

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Aren't you always?"

"Today is District 2." I sighed.

"Try not to think about it."

"That's easier said than done." I grumbled.

"You're just going to make it worse than it really is. I promise I'll tone it down as much as possible for District 2. We don't want to ruffle any feathers, do we?" He smiled and put his hand on mine. "Relax, okay? No one wants you to hurt yourself stressing about this. You'll be fine. And if you're not then someone has me to answer to." He smiled and I felt myself calm down a little. "Now, flick your hair back, and try not to panic."

Of course, in saying 'don't panic' I instantly became worried about what he was going to do to my hair. Then I laughed because it was so far from what I was actually worried about that it served as a small distraction. Cinna always seemed to have the right thing to say.

District 3 was quite tame. I stood in the warm sunlight with my hair glimmering from whatever it was that Cinna had put into it. I said my part and we were ushered back onto the train. District 2 just seemed to be coming closer and closer and there was nothing I could do to slow it down or stop it.

Cinna had an idea to try and snap me out of my fear. I told him I'd try anything and I almost regretted it. He had me stooped over his sink while he rinsed out my hair and scrubbed the make-up off my face. Granted, it helped, but I was still nervous.

I had a bad feeling. Haymitch had told me that this would be the hardest part but I didn't think I would feel this ill. I haven't eaten all day but I know that's not why I'm feeling so bad. Blaze and Cress have been floating through my mind all day. I know that they shouldn't and I'm just making it worse but I can't help it.

When my face was dry and my hair was returning to normal Cinna began to apply my new look. This time it was just a simple bit of gold eyeliner with a flouncy black knee-length dress.

"Are we a matching set tonight Cinna?" He laughed at my question and the smile lingered on his face.

"I suppose we are, so don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Do you really think I can do this?"

"You're a big tough girl, I'm sure you'll be perfect as always." He put a comforting hand on my cheek.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. Cinna saw me staring at it and sighed.

"There's less than an hour until we get there. I suggest you go and do something relaxing before you put wrinkles in that pretty face."

I took his advice and went out to the dining car where Peeta was sat reading a book by the window. As I sat across from him his eyes darted up to me and he smiled as he turned the page.

"You look terrified."

"Thanks for that, Cinna sent me out here to relax."

He laughed. "Well, you're not doing a very good job of it."

I wanted to throw something at him, and then I laughed because I could see what he was trying to do. We sat there in silence for the rest of the trip.

It was a short trip.

Before I knew it I was there in District 2 with Effie shoving me out of the train.

"Come now dear! We don't want to be late!" She shuffled by me in her shoes that were bigger than mine.

Lucky that this district is a little ritzier than the others and it actually has a nice paved path to the justice building. If it were an old dirt path like the others I might have fallen over more than once. Peeta walked with me, holding onto my arm firmly. I was glad to have him there.

As we entered the building I felt my heart pounding away in my chest and I let out a slow breath to try and calm myself down.

"You'll be okay, I promise." Peeta gave me a smile and squeezed my hand as he and Effie headed off the one of the rooms.

I was left waiting in the wings. I bit down on my lip and looked around; this place was _definitely_ fancier than any of the others so far.

"Olivia Hanspark, we finally meet." I spun around to see a stick-thin woman in a grey pant-suit staring at me with folded arms. "I'm Mishra Monroe, the mayor." She held out a hand for me to shake and I took it.

She had very dark painted lips with sunken cheeks. Her eyebrows were shaped into thin lines with distinct curves that made her look angry, though she may have just hated me. She wore her shoulder-length dark hair out and it fell straight down past her face.

She was quite possibly the scariest woman I have ever seen.

"Olivia." I offered.

She smiled a little. "I know, we all know."

I blushed and looked away.

"I'll meet you on stage soon. I'm about to start my speech. Try not to look so sick to the stomach." She seemed to be friendly enough.

She began to walk to the entrance of the stage when I called out to her.

"Ms Monroe?" She turned to look at me expectantly. "I was just wondering if you could tell me what to expect out there. I mean, am I public enemy number one?" I tried to laugh a little and she just gave a cool little smile.

"Miss Hanspark, you are not the first tribute to kill one of ours, and I highly doubt you'll be the last. Just don't look down at anyone in particular for too long, because I can guarantee that they hate you, it's how they are every year with the victors; furious." She seemed a little amused by the things that she was saying, like she's had to say them year after year. "Only a victor from this district is celebrated, or tolerated. So please, try not to look like you're going to throw up on them. They'll like you even less. Oh, and good luck on the rest of your tour." She turned and left.

I was able to breathe a little easier after that. When I heard my cue to go onstage I walked out with a little smile and a small wave, trying to be low-key. There was light applause that stopped shortly.

I stood by the mayor and looked out at the sea of stony faces that were glaring up at me. I tried my hardest not to look down at the tribute's families but my eyes flicked to them for just a second.

Then I had to get a better look.

I looked down at Cress' family. There were two men who looked to be in their thirties that had scarily similar glares to Cress, I guessed that they were his brothers. There was also a girl who looked a little younger than me with jet black hair staring at me with so much venom in her eyes I was afraid that just her gaze would cause me harm.

I looked over to the other side, where Blaze's family sat. A young man sat there with arms folded over his bulky muscled chest. He had blond hair in tufts and grey eyes that were glazed over. An older woman with a striking resemblance to Blaze had narrowed eyes as well as folded arms. She had to be Blaze's mother. Next to her was a man who was probably her husband.

I wanted to apologize to them all but I knew that there would be no possible way for that to go down well.

I said my rehearsed lines as needed and when it came time for me to give my speech I took a shaky breath and moved over behind the podium. I rested my hands on the smooth wooden top and stared down at it, probably for too long, before I looked up to speak.

"I… Firstly, I would like to thank the citizens of this district for welcoming me for my Victory Tour." I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead in the late afternoon sun, though it was probably the nerves more than anything. "This has not been easy for any of us." I took another breath. "I want to wish you all good luck in the games next year and I hope that-"

I was cut off by a lyrical voice calling out through the square. "Kay-ah!"

It sounded like some kind of bird call and I looked up to see where it was coming from, so did everyone else. They were looking all around, the sound was bouncing off the justice building and confusing some people. I caught sight of a figure dressed all in black with a hood pulled over their face.

I only noticed them for a second, because the next thing I saw was a great ball of fire hurtling towards me. I leapt back from the podium just as it hit, square in the middle. It went up in smoke and I saw what it was that had hit, it was a flaming arrow with a rose tied to the tail end.

I could feel myself shaking. That person, the one who made the call, they had aimed an arrow up at me on stage and fired. I stared at it. I couldn't peel my eyes away from it. Around me there was chaos.

Peach keepers were rushing from their posts and heading for the crowd of people, who were clearly in a panic. They were pushing past one another, eager to get out of the square. I looked up, trying desperately to find the shooter. They shouldn't be hard to spot in their pitch black attire but I couldn't see them. They had vanished, like smoke. _Like a ghost_.

I felt like I was the only person who saw them, I was the only one who saw them aim and fire. What a fitting set of terms for something like this.

The podium was covered in flame now, my whole body was shaking and all I could smell, all I could see, was smoke and flames.

I didn't even see Peeta grab me around the waist and all but drag me inside. The only thing I could see was that arrow, and the only thing I could hear was _thump, thump, thump_.

Peeta was standing in front of me practically shouting at me but I couldn't hear him. I couldn't hear anything. I was trying to shove him away and I held my hands over my ears to try and block out that sound but I couldn't. I must have been screaming and crying but I can't remember anything after that.

I blacked out.

The next thing I remember is sitting on a couch in one of the rooms of the justice building with Peeta and Effie staring at me nervously. Peeta opened his mouth to speak to me.

"…_thump…thump_…"

Effie looked over at him and then back at me, her lips moving away

"…_thump…thump…thump_…"

Peace keepers came in and out, that's how I know they're guarding the door. Other than that, I don't know anything.

I could hardly believe it was happening, all that worrying about District 2 turned out to be warranted.

Slowly the voices began to break through my hazy trance.

"… don't think it has." Effie's voice started coming back to me.

"Well I'm sure if it had there would be different protocols." Now Peeta's.

"Still, I can't believe that anyone would do such a thing." She sounded genuinely upset.

"I know, I was nervous about it but I never thought that anyone would set the stage on fire."

"It wasn't on fire…" I whispered.

The two of them spun around and stared at me. I was beginning to realise what the attack symbolised.

"Olivia? What did you say?" Peeta asked.

"It wasn't on fire… it was a_blaze_…" I whispered again.

The two looked at one another and then back at me.

"Olivia, dear, are you alright?" Effie was treading very lightly, even for her.

I looked up and from one to the other, my eyes glassy with unfallen tears.

"I think I'll just… go and tell them that you're responding now…" She stood up slowly and made quick steps towards the door.

Once she was out of the room Peeta pulled his chair in closer to me and put a tentative hand on my knee.

"Do you remember anything?" He asked.

"I remember the noise… and the flames… and I remember you tearing me away, but after that…" I looked ahead blankly, the tears blurring my vision. "I feel like I probably threw up… and my eyes are a little sore…"

"You did throw up. And the eye thing is probably because if I wasn't holding your arms by your side you were trying to claw your eyes out. Not to mention you were crying pretty uncontrollably. I had to carry you up here."

"Where exactly _is_ here?"

"We're on the third floor of the justice building. We're waiting for instruction now." He sighed.

"How long have we been up here?"

"I don't know, hours now. I'm pretty sure it's after sunset."

Then I remembered the filming. "Oh god, the video…"

"It's okay, they cut the footage almost straight away. The person called out and we saw you stop and stare into the crowd. Then you jumped back and all we could see was fire, and the screens went black. That's when I started running out here to get you. It could only be something horrible."

"Haymitch…"

"He'll be fine, you still have to finish the tour and he'll know not to do anything stupid."

"He might think I'm dead."

"Well he'll know the truth soon enough." He squeezed my knee a little and I gave him a nervous look before Effie came barging through the door again.

"They're almost finished searching the train, soon enough we'll be off to District 1, though they're delaying the tour a few days to let you… recover." She managed a weak smile.

"Thanks Effie." I said, feeling slightly ill.

"I'll come back to collect you when we're ready to get going." She stepped out again and pulled the door shut behind her.

"Why are they searching the train?" I asked.

Peeta just looked at me as though he didn't really want to answer.

"Oh… right. They're looking for anyone or anything else that might be in place to kill me."

"I don't think that's what this was about."

"How could it not be? Did you see their faces out there? They hated me."

"That doesn't mean that it was about that, maybe it wasn't about _you_ at all."

"Since when did trying to kill someone make it _not_ about them?"

"Look, whoever did it was obviously not trying to kill you." Peeta said.

"Yeah, you're right, shooting an arrow at someone isn't how you get the job done. They'd have been better off hurling insults." I snapped.

"Think about it for a second; why would they have made that sound if they wanted to kill you? It attracted attention and served absolutely no clear purpose." I was silent for a second as I thought about it. "Why would they use a flaming arrow? If they wanted to kill you dramatically then getting struck with an arrow would have sufficed. If it were on fire it would have been tacky, ridiculous. This was… kind of poetic."

"Poetic? Really? And maybe they just missed me, miscalculated their aim or their strength."

"Yes, poetic. I think there was a much better reason for them to set that arrow on fire." I looked up and I knew I couldn't hide what was written on my face. We both knew this had something to do with Blaze. "They didn't want to kill you. No one is that accurate by accident, hitting the podium square in the middle, it's narrower than you are, besides, you just stood there looking at it until I dragged you away. They could have shot at you again."

"The whole crowd was moving around, trying to see them."

"Yeah, and no one did."

"I did." He looked up. "They were all in black with a dark hood. They were just kind of standing there and I only saw them for a second because I was looking for the sound, and then the arrow was just sort of… coming for me. The next second they were gone. They're probably dead by now."

"There has to have been a Peace Keeper that saw them, you can't just smuggle a bow and arrow past those guys, they'll have your head in an instant, especially when you're shooting at someone from the Capitol."

"They're all going to hate me, they'll side with the Capitol over the rest of us, they take care of District 2."

"District 2 has never shot at a Capitol citizen before."

"Well a Capitol _citizen_ has never killed a tribute before, let alone their most famous victors."

"That's a lie." He said with half a laugh. "Every Hunger Games a tribute dies at the hands of the Capitol, and for what? For the enjoyment of its people. I know killing their tributes and saving others isn't going to do any good though, we'll have to work something out."

"Maybe Haymitch will have some ideas."

"Maybe, but hopefully, if the shooter really _is _dead, then it'll turn the district away from the Capitol."

"They don't hate the Capitol, they still give them everything, and pardon them for any minor wrongdoings in return for favours. They hate _me _because I'm not like them. I wasn't betting on a tribute of theirs to win, I wanted them dead. District 2 has more people than any of the others, and it's filled with a whole lot of trained fighters. If there's any district that I want on my side it's this one, and they are going to hate me because I wasn't on theirs. The only tributes I killed were from their district. When this thing breaks they are going to know that. They are going to think that I'm against them too. The sad part is that they don't even realise that the Capitol has them so well trained. If it came down to saving the people of the Capitol or the people of 2, Snow wouldn't even bat an eye. You know that. If someone had to be sacrificed from _their_ side if a war broke out, you can bet they would cut them loose. It's not fair." I breathed out heavily and Peeta sighed.

"Look, we'll cross that bridge when we get there and we can discuss it where it's safe in 12, but right now you just have to drop this fear you have. They weren't trying to kill you, they were sending you a message."

"Yeah, that they are _not_ on my team."

"Maybe so, but they don't want you dead."

"Well they might but the shooter didn't think it was the right time."

He smiled a little. "Just breathe okay?"

"I'll breathe when I'm home."

"You're going to be waiting a while."

"Yeah, I know."


	7. Chapter 6

For the next two days we were all confined to the train. They made sure to get out of District 2 as soon as possible and when they reached District 1 they kept the train in the station, under guard of peace keepers of course.

This had to be a good thing; obviously they don't want me dead and would prefer me to get to the Capitol in one piece. So they don't suspect anything as of yet.

That first night after the incident was impossible. I don't think I slept more than a few hours. Not in between the nightmares. I feel terrible because Peeta was up all night with me and he didn't get any sleep either.

When I wasn't having nightmares I was sat up with my stomach churning over the fact that Caius and Haymitch had only seen the very beginning of my appearance in 2 and I don't know what else has been broadcast. Maybe they're leaving the Capitol in suspense so that they can create a bigger spectacle than ever before. I don't know. All I know is that I'm on the train, and I will be here until I'm told otherwise.

I wanted to be back in 12. That's all I wanted.

On the second night I had managed to find somewhat of an appetite so I joined the others at dinner.

"How are you feeling dear?" Effie said, still holding back.

I must have been really bad after it happened.

"Much better Effie, do you know when we're starting up again?" I put a little bit of food on my plate and took a bite of my bread bun.

"Oh, no. They haven't given word to me yet." She looked slightly upset, as if she was being snubbed by the Capitol.

"It shouldn't be too long Effie." Peeta looked over with a warm smile. "I'm sure this really took the wind out of them. They probably have as much idea as we do."

"I suppose you're right." She said.

The rest of dinner was mostly spent in silence. I was waiting to get some time alone with Peeta, there was so much to talk to him about and I hadn't spent much time with him lately. I've been kind of lost in my own head.

I managed to catch him later in the night, when Effie and the others had retreated for the night.

"I would have thought you wanted to get an early night." I said as I walked into his room.

He was sitting by the window with the lights dimmed, looking out over the last of the Districts. "Sleep isn't really something that welcomes me anymore." He said without looking up.

Sometimes he sounded so much older than he was. I can't imagine what those victors that won so many years ago must experience every day. They must be so tired.

"Do you know anything?" I asked.

"No one knows when we're leaving."

"No, I mean about what… what happened." This time he turned to face me.

"Not really, I know that they're searching for the shooter, the district isn't happy at all." He got up and walked over to the bed, leaning on the bedpost.

"Did they catch them?" I asked.

"Why do you want to know?" He said slowly.

"I don't want to see them strung up in the town square I just want to know why they did it." I heard my voice get louder and a little guilt spread over his face. "Sorry. I'm not trying to get angry. It's just that everyone sees me as this self-absorbed little Capitol girl and it's starting to get to me."

"You could always take advice from Caius. You know, start this thing now." He sat down and I slumped next to him.

"You know I can't do that. They'll think I'm just a big joke. I need them to learn to trust me." My head pounded, sometimes I think I made a big mistake.

He put an arm around me, "I know."

"I miss Haymitch." I never knew what it was like to miss my father. I never had one so why would I miss having no one there? Now that I've spent time with him, I feel like I know him and I don't ever want to lose what we have.

"Sadly, so do I." He chuckled and it made me smile a little.

"Why is District 2 not happy?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Well, suddenly they're being treated like any other District. You can't just have an anonymous member of your District shoot at a _Capitol_ victor and expect to get away with it. There is a whole lot of mutual angst going on right now. At least that's what Cinna says." He shrugged.

"So they hate me _and_ the Capitol. Does that mean that I failed completely?" Peeta laughed a little.

"I think it means that change is coming."

"I really hope you're right.

"I'm not so sure."

It was the third morning that we finally got the news. I was walking down to breakfast with Peeta when Effie came running up to us and all but dragged us into the dining car.

"I hope you're ready for the rest of your tour!" Effie sang.

"So they're all ready for her?" Peeta asked as he sat down to eat.

"Oh yes, very much so. They had to extend all their efforts on finding that wicked person in District 2 before they could carry on with the celebrations."

"So they caught the person?" I asked.

"Apparently someone has been arrested but more to the point you'll be getting ready to appear in District 1 at lunch time and then it's off to the Capitol for tonight!" She squeaked excitedly and almost spilt her tea as it sloshed about in her waving tea cup.

"Have they said why they did it?" I asked.

Effie just looked at me like I was silly to fret over it. "Well… I don't know the details dear but don't worry, I'm sure it will all be sorted."

I guess I have to resign myself to the fact that I'm not going find out anything more.

It was almost like it never happened; I was back to prep teams and girly outfits for another round of showing myself off.

Peeta could tell that I wasn't happy. He kept shooting me little smiles. It actually got a little annoying after a while.

"I think I should go and wait for my prep team in the chamber." I said as I stood up and began to walk out.

"I shall see you later dear!" Effie called and I walked even faster.

I was probably sat in there for an hour before it was time to start. They brushed through my knotted hair, they tutted at the purple bags under my eyes and they fussed over my nails, which Peeta had insisted I cut right down so that I couldn't hurt myself with them.

It only took an hour or two before I was back to the bronzed beauty that the Capitol thought I was. Sometimes it would be nice if they could see the real me.

I was happy to see Cinna again and he gave me a warm hug.

"How are you feeling?" He sat down in front of me and smiled kindly.

"Honestly, I really don't want to go out there and face another District. Especially not one so similar to District 2. I don't know if I can do it."

"You can do it. You're tough. Besides, there are more peace keepers than I have ever seen on one of these trains and they're all going to be out in that square. If anyone so much as moves strangely they'll be on them."

I sighed. I knew he was right but I was still apprehensive.

"So I'm thinking of going with something all black today, just to give them the impression that you're not trying to overly draw attention to yourself. We'll save something stunning for the Capitol crowds." He gave me another smile and I tried to return one but it was weak. "You'll be fine, okay?"

He stood up and gave me a kiss on the forehead before he started getting me dressed.

I felt very ill by the time I needed to head towards the justice building. I didn't want help from anyone, I can't explain why. I just wanted to try and do it on my own; everyone else's worry and fretting made me worse. I just needed to get through this appearance.

"Come now! We can't keep the cameras waiting!" Effie said as we climbed into a carriage.

"Are you okay?" Peeta whispered.

"Peeta, stop asking me that, it's not going to change in the next five minutes." I snapped.

I did feel guilty after I said it. He was only being kind.

When we reached the justice building I was escorted by a peace keeper to the waiting area. I could see the mayor approaching but she had to prove herself to get anywhere close to me. When she was finally let through the ranks she came to talk to me.

"Seems like you got quite a fright in the last District." She said with a smile.

"Uh, well yes. I was shot at." I said.

"It's not every day you see that. You made quite the impression. I think the people here actually enjoyed the show for once." She laughed a little but I didn't exactly find it funny. "Oh don't worry, it won't happen here. We have been flooded with these guys," She gestured to the peace keepers, "since last night. You certainly have a big protection squad out there."

I smiled weakly and she nodded.

"Just relax, nothing's going to happen out there. I know it's probably hard this time. You'll feel better when you see the ocean of peace keepers." She laughed. "Anyway, good luck."

She gave me another grin and she was off.

"Well that was the strangest conversation I've ever had." I muttered.

I could hear that I was being introduced and I had to breathe for a long time before my feet would even carry me out to the stage.

_Breathe, just breathe._

I walked out slowly and didn't wave. I barely even smiled. I could hear my ragged breathing as I stepped up to the podium. I didn't realise just how foreboding it was; it was just a few lumps of wood put together but to me it represented something else entirely. I didn't touch it, in fact I stood as far back as I could so that I didn't have to be unnecessarily close to it.

I said what I had to say and when it was time to add anything extra I nodded. I took another breath and looked down at the podium. I had barely looked up from it.

"I want to thank you all for welcoming me, I am sorry to delay this appearance and I want to wish you all luck in the upcoming games. Thank you." I stepped back and the mayor wished me luck.

I was ushered off the stage by a peace keeper and taken directly to the carriage. I finally let the air out of my lungs and started to relax a little as I saw Peeta and Effie heading back to the carriage.

"Let's get a move on! Not long until we're home!" Effie trilled.

It's great that she thinks we have so much in common. It's almost as though she thinks we're basically neighbours.

Once we got back to the train she had me straight off to the prep team. She was convinced that it was going to take a long, _long_ time to get me ready for the Capitol. I don't know whether to be offended or not.

"Don't worry, you'll be home soon and you can forget about that horrible… _incident_." Claudine said as she brushed out my hair for what felt like the thousandth time. "We are going to make you look absolutely perfect!"

It was only about seven hours until the train reaches the Capitol and I needed another wash of my hair, another exfoliation and a bath that involved some very milky water. That killed three hours at least.

I'm sorry, that was a horrible expression.

I headed out to the main carriage for a break before an early dinner and then off to see what Cinna has for me. I expect nothing less than perfection for the Capitol.

When I got to the main carriage Effie was sitting on an armchair reading a magazine.

"Oh hello dear, you look refreshed." She smiled.

"Yes well, a little pampering will do that." I laughed weakly and walked over to the window to see District 1 passing by.

I sat down and watched as the trees rushed past. The tracks weaved in and out of them, sometimes climbing high above. Sometimes I could see so far across the land that I could see mountains rising up on one side. It's a beautiful country really. Too bad it's marred by something evil.

"Hey." I turned around to see Peeta standing next to me.

"Hi." I haven't spoken to him since I snapped earlier.

"Can I sit?" He looked to the empty spot in front of me.

"Peeta I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean to take it out on you." I sighed and he took a seat.

"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to see if you knew the plans for the Capitol visit?" He said.

"No, I don't think they have any yet."

"They patched through a schedule just before." He raised his eyebrows as if he was expecting me to yell.

I just grunted a little too loudly. I looked over to Effie but she didn't seem to have heard me. "How does it look?"

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. Seeing as the tour had been… delayed… the start of the Capitol leg was not ideal in their eyes. It was a few days late but they could still make a big appearance.

Tonight was the interview with Caesar, the very first appearance and I think it's the only one broadcast to the Districts. Then tomorrow begins the first day.

Day one was a parade through the streets at midday before a formal dinner at night. Day two was showing off my talent for Caesar, almost an all-day thing. Day three I actually have some free time, maybe.

The rest of the time was very similar. Meet and greets with important people, fancy dinner parties, even a photo shoot was on the cards for me this stay. I don't think I have many moments to myself.

"Wow, this looks like a lot of fun." I muttered.

"Welcome to the life of a victor." Peeta said.

"Is this the same for you?"

"Some of it overlaps, all the publicity things are the same, it's just some other stuff that I have to do. Thanks by the way, for getting me dragged intently to a two week stay." He whispered the last bit so that Effie wouldn't hear.

"Excuse you, they like you just as much as me so this probably worked out perfectly for them." I hissed.

"We'll be there soon." He rested his head against the window, looking out in the direction of the Capitol.

"I'm nervous."

"About what? They aren't going to shoot at you." His eyes widened and he looked over at me as if it had just slipped out.

I started to laugh and he smiled uncertainly. "That was cold." I grinned.

Even though it was an accident it still made me feel better. It wasn't long before Effie was telling me to get back to my prep team and fix myself up.

I headed back into the prep chamber and sat down silently while they fussed with me. They painted my face and my nails and covered me in bronzed glittering dust that made me look incredibly strange. I may have grown up in the Capitol with all of those things available to me, but they still seem so strange.

When they were finally done my hair was so tightly bound up on my head that I just knew it was going to be painful to let it out. It was high on my head and very elegant. My cheeks were lined with glittery golden shimmer and rhinestones glued to the corners of my eyes. This was more elaborate than ever.

I was almost scared to see my dress.

"Well, they said they had done their best work but I didn't believe it until just now." I turned to see Cinna walking in with a smile.

"I think my hair is tugging on my brain. Please don't tell me that it's going to make me say anything stupid."

Cinna laughed. "I promise you'll be just as sane as ever."

"So what do you have for me?"

"Something particularly beautiful." He pulled out a black garment bag and unzipped it to reveal a lot of golden fabric. "Put this on, and try not to disturb your hair."

As I found my way into it Cinna helped me to arrange it properly and with only a few minor touch ups I was ready to take a look at the finished product.

As I turned to the mirror I gasped. I had thought my face was elaborate but the dress was something else. First there was a tight fabric clinging to me that sat about mid-thigh and had thin spaghetti straps. Flowing from my waist was net-like material in a light tulle that gushed to the ground so gracefully with a short train at the back. The front of my legs was still visible between the tulle. Attached to the back of my dress and with little strings around my wrists were a glittering set of wings, much like the ones I had worn in my first parade experience.

"Cinna…" I said breathlessly.

"Don't praise me yet, you haven't seen how high the shoes are." At this point I didn't care, I was mesmerised.

It was like I didn't belong here.

Once the shoes were fitted and I was able to walk with the train and the height I stopped to think for a minute. "Cinna, how exactly am I going to get to the Games Centre, and more importantly, how am I going to get up on stage?"

"All will be sorted, just please, _please_, don't tear that with your shoes."

I didn't go back out into the main car before we left. Cinna helped me out without being seen by the cameras that were lingering about. I didn't even get the chance to see Peeta or Effie before we left. It must have taken a long time to get me ready for this.

"What's that noise?" I asked as Cinna freshened me up back stage of the Games Centre.

"That is your crowd."

"What?"

"This thing sold out the second they realised that you… were on your way from District 2."

"You mean, when they realised that I wasn't dead?" I asked with a little smile.

"Yes, but it would have sold out even if you were, there's nothing like a sickeningly lavish funeral." Cinna said under his breath and I laughed.

"I wish you were wrong about that…" I said, the comment somehow making me feel better.

"You're going to be introduced in about ten minutes!" A member of the film crew came in and dashed out again, barely even stopping.

It was the biggest night of the season after all.

"Just relax, you'll be in and out in less than an hour." Cinna smiled and we started to walk to the entrance to the stage.

I knew it would take at least five minutes to get there with this elaborate costume. Everyone was rushing around, barely even stopping to let me through to the stage. Apparently they were just as under pressure as I was. I can imagine that a mistake for something like this resulted in more than just a good talking to.

Before I knew it they were counting me down and I was taking deep breaths. The next thing I knew I was hit with a hot spot light and I couldn't hear my own thoughts rushing about inside my head.

_Just breathe._

I grinned out towards the sea of people and waved for a minute before I started walking to the chair where Caesar was waiting with a dropped jaw. As I turned to see myself on the screen I almost stopped in my tracks.

I was like an angel walking out on that stage, and that was me being modest. Sometimes I can't believe that Cinna can do the things he can with a few bits of fabric and thread.

Caesar reached out for my hands and pulled me in for a kiss on each cheek before he helped me into a chair to begin the interview.

"Well now Olivia! You have had a wild ride on your victory tour haven't you?" Caesar looked to the audience for approval and they laughed.

"Wild is definitely one way to put it." The laughing continued, they were obviously overjoyed at being here.

I knew that Caesar was going to talk to me about the appearance in District 2, and of course he elaborated once we got further into it.

"So tell me, how did you feel when it happened, I mean, we all know the story but perhaps you could tell us a bit more." He sat back with a finger to his lips, looking genuinely interested.

I looked down with a wistful little smile. "I will do the best I can to explain it to you but I'm not sure whether I can truly do justice to the moment." I swallowed. "I think I can say that it has changed me. I think the appearance in District 1 proved that. It was… such a daunting moment for me." I took a few shaky breaths and the audience was completely silent.

Caesar reached over and took my hand. "What exactly went through your mind?"

"Well thankfully not an arrow." The crowd didn't know whether to laugh or just stay silent. "I just want to know why they did what they did. I don't particularly care if they're caught or punished, sometimes just a reason will suffice."

"You're a better woman than I Miss Hanspark." The crowd laughed at Caesar and we moved on to more exciting things.

We talked about the next Hunger Games, about what my plans were for the tour and he even tried to get me to spill the beans about my talent before the recording.

Finally, we came to a close and I stood up to wave farewell to the adoring crowd. By the time I was back behind the curtain I could at last let out the breath that I had been holding in. The worst is over, for now.


	8. Chapter 7

"Now Caesar I think your technique is a little rough!" I giggled as I stood beside Caesar on a smaller stage in front of a long kitchen bench.

I was virtually spotless in my petite baking outfit – and enormous shoes – while he was covered in flour and had a perfectly placed spot of cake batter on the end of his nose.

"It's harder than it looks!" He gaped to the small crowd of people as he put down the bowl and put his hands behind his back to watch me mix the red velvet mixture. "Now that is what I call a cake in the making!"

We'd already been here for a few hours, there was some red meat in a pot on the stove being tenderised as I baked this cake and some pastry set aside for another sweet dish. All of my energy was directed into acting happy and bubbly that I didn't even care if my food tasted any good.

I was up all last night baking a cake for Peeta to decorate. I am just exhausted.

The worst part is that this is nowhere near over. I still have a few hours here and then tonight was the cocktail party in one of the flashiest hotels in the Capitol. It was a private function, reserved for the victor, their mentor and escort – and in my case my family – as well as the elite members of society or anyone willing to pay the price. I'm willing to bet anything that the price was no less than five figures.

I poured the mixture into a large cake tin and wiped my brow as I closed the oven for another hour.

"Now we'll be back in just a while, even victors and big time stars, such as myself, need a bit of a break." He grinned and waved as we headed out of the kitchen and into a lounge area.

I saw Peeta standing with a hot drink in hand and an earpiece in. I didn't know who was talking in his ear but they seemed to be quiet at this moment.

"How's it going out there?" He asked.

"Well, you know what they say… if you can't stand the heat…" I muttered as an avox handed me a cup and poured me a glass of hot tea.

"Get out of the kitchen?" Peeta smiled.

I sighed. "Did you finish your icing?"

"All done, I finished it a long while ago."

"Lucky you." I grunted as I took a long awaited seat.

"Just take five minutes to breathe, don't wear yourself out before the big party tonight." I groaned again and he smiled.

It felt like no time at all before I was back in front of the small audience with the biggest smile as I finished up my baking.

Caesar pulled the most over-the-top faces when he tried my food. It's good, but surely it's not _that_ good. The meat was now in a stew and Caesar was stuffing his face humorously before pouring some into bowls to pass to the crowd. Then it was on to the pastry tart that I had made and finally the cake.

It was covered in a buttery icing, a plain buttery icing that looked alright but nothing magnificent.

"Well this looks… well this looks quite lovely." Caesar said.

I smiled wryly. "I agree Caesar; it isn't much to look at, is it?" He said nothing so I gestured to the side of the stage. "Peeta, won't you come out here!"

The crowd erupted in applause and cheers as Peeta came out pushing a cart with a sheet over it. He gave them all a smile as he pulled it off and revealed his masterpiece.

Everyone was in awe of his artwork in icing on the tri-layered cake. It was like a waterfall of blue and green with rocks at the bottom and a golden sky on the top layer. I had no idea how he had done it. All I was really expecting was a few intricate swirls but he had gone above and beyond.

The look on my face was sheer astonishment and Caesar had the same look across his face and wide open mouth. He babbled about for a while before he shook Peeta's hand and we finished up our filming.

All I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and sleep but I was whisked off to a specially prepared room in the hotel to get ready for the party.

"I don't see why I need a good going over every time I have somewhere to go." I said as Clarina brushed through my hair.

"Well you need to look absolutely _perfect_ don't you?" She replied.

Cinna came by to drop off an outfit once they were done. "They must be paying you so much in overtime for all this extra work you have." I said.

He laughed. "I am quite comfortable, yes."

"How do you think up all of these different outfits in so little time?" I said with a sigh.

"How do you survive the Hunger Games?" I looked up at him, my eyes questioning him sadly so he gave me an answer. "One day at a time." He said softly.

"You seem like you'd be a pretty good ally to have in a game." I smiled weakly.

"You can count on me." He slipped his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze, his firm gaze holding onto mine until we were interrupted by Claudine coming in with some more paint for my eyes.

My make-up had been done very elaborately for this party. My eyelashes were tinted god while my cheeks had ben bronzed to the point if excess. Then of course there were my golden lips.

I looked more than just desirable; I looked unattainable. I suppose that was the idea – with my body draped in a black silk fabric that made me feel naked. It ran half-way down my arms and sat lightly above my knees.

I couldn't stand to look at myself. I was looking at everything that I couldn't stand about the Capitol. The moment Peeta saw me I knew that he felt the same way. I was dripping in the lavish products of the ruthless Capitol – oozing the charms and prizes that they promise to the victors of their games but for what price?

The games? No, they were a privilege. Payment for such exuberant gifts and hospitalities was a lifetime of servitude and this outfit said it all. I have no doubt that Cinna made this, but I know that someone else gave him the design.

Peeta offered me his arm as we headed down to the car that was waiting to escort us to our hotel.

The drive was short, too short, and the amount of photographers waiting outside the event was staggering. I think I have a photo-shoot for one of their magazines later in the week but this was sure to grace the daily telecast.

The ballroom was enormous and elaborate, filled with elaborately important people. I walked in with an air of arrogance that I knew was expected of me. Some of them came to greet me and I saw Caledon and Margery across the room. I don't even think that they recognised me. Katia stood with some investors and eyed me carefully, she was constantly watching.

My stomach was uneasy. I couldn't let my façade slip for a moment around these people. I was impossibly trapped in a world that I had invited myself into. No one asked me to but what choice did I have?

Something had to be done and this was just the beginning.

"Miss Hanspark." I spun around quickly to see Seneca Crane standing beside me, two glasses of white liquor in his hands.

He offered me one and I smiled weakly as I took it. "Mr Crane… what a pleasure it is to see you."

"I can assure you that the pleasure is all mine." I took a sip of my drink out of courtesy, trying not to gag. "How are you finding District 12? So sorry to have to send you so far from home."

I smiled sweetly. "It's quaint. Positively charming… for a working class district. Though I must say, the surroundings hold a lot of cultural value."

"You are finding that you can continue your studies then?"

"Yes, however if you could bend the rules I could just as easily resume them from here." I gave him a cheeky grin and he laughed with a smile that vaguely reflected humanity.

"I did try to plead your case… the districts are no place for a girl of your calibre."

"Are you trying to flatter me Mr Crane?" I fluttered my glittering eyelashes and smiled with my perfectly whitened teeth.

He laughed again. "I promise you that I am spoken for Miss Hanspark, but I do hope you will grant me the honour of a dance later in the night."

"Well the honour would be all mine." I smiled to hide my disgust as he nodded and walked over to another group of people.

Almost as soon as he had left I was greeted by someone else. All through the next hour I was met by people who wanted to tell me that they had sponsored me during my stay in the arena – they said it as though I was away on some sadistic little holiday. I felt like I was suffocating in that room and I was close to breaking point when I was greeted by a familiar face.

"Olivia!" Her charming smile came barging through the crowd to meet me.

"Cardenia?" I said, the first traces of a genuine smile reaching my lips.

"The one and only." She grinned. "Rough time you had there in 2." Her crass personality made me laugh.

Cardenia graduated five years before me from high school. She is a mathematical genius with a vivid imagination to match. At the top of her graduating class she was approached by one of the game makers to join their team.

Initially she refused the offer, being a part of the Hunger Games wasn't something that she wanted for herself but the riches they were offering were too much to refuse, especially when they moved her parents to a new home in a particularly good part of the Capitol and bought her a fully furnished flat.

It only took a few years for her to become a fully-fledged game maker. By then it had taken its toll on her, the cruelty, the brutality… she felt responsible. So when she caught wind of a rebellion from an old school professor of ours she was happy to join the cause.

That was how we met.

"Yes, well, it was hardly the reception I expected." I said.

"I guess not."

"How's work?" I asked.

"Highly secretive. I can't be giving you an advantage over the other mentors for next year now can I?" She rolled her eyes and took a long swill on her drink.

"I suppose you can't; it hardly seems fair." I said, the double entendre blatant.

She laughed loudly. "I will say that our flora is much more… colourful at the moment. A little colour never killed anyone." Her eyes glinted with a sadistic humour that only she – and Haymitch – could pull off completely.

I nodded knowing that she had her own secret meaning too. She was giving me more of a hint than anyone else here could understand.

"Excuse me ladies… may I cut in with an offer to dance?" An older gentleman smiled at us both before offering me his hand.

I cringed inwardly but I took it, Cardenia raising her glass to me as we left. He led me to the dance floor and kept his distance as he droned on about how thrilling it was to see 'one of our own' fighting for glory along with the common riff-raff, victors may they have been. I held my tongue and laughed along with him.

I was almost relieved when Seneca Crane cut in, until he held me a little too close for comfort. I ignored my urge to knee him in the stomach and engaged him in polite conversation and light, vomit inducing flirtations.

"There is something very different about you Olivia." He said rather suddenly.

It caught me off guard and for a moment I said nothing. What could I say to that?

"Different to what?" I said finally.

"Now that… is a marvellous question." His bright blue eyes sparkled as they bore down into mine.

As I tried to decipher his words the wealthy heir of one of the mining magnates stole me away to dance. Seneca was gone and I was left in the roaming hands of a man who was clearly enjoying himself.

I felt like a shiny new toy being passed from one person to the next but never really taken care of. Everyone wanted to see me, touch me, experience the fame that I had brought with me from humble beginnings. I was a ragdoll, a pretty little fool.

"May I cut in?" I pulled myself from the young man's grip to see Peeta standing there with a smile.

He took my hand in his and gave a polite nod to the man that I had just been dancing with before putting his other hand on my waist and swaying slightly to the music.

"Thank you." I said.

"You looked like you were drowning out there." Drowning, now that seemed to fit.

It reminded me of an old movie I watched in school, one that had somehow survived the old world as it was known.

Not much had, I was lucky enough to have access to it, particularly studying history.

"It's quite an arena in here." I felt his chest rumble as he chuckled a little and I looked over to see Katia staring this way.

Her cold eyes were narrowed as she tried to figure me out.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" He asked.

I nodded silently. I had to be. There was no room for error or lapse in concentration and there was no way out now.

"You don't need to lie to me." He said.

I looked back up at him, his soft eyes trying to get me to admit my weakness and I sighed.

"This is so much harder than I ever imagined. Even with friends by my side. I mean, on the outside I'm everything a well brought up Capitol girl should be but my insides tell another story." He tilted his head and I thought back to that old movie with a sigh. "It's this party… this lifestyle… I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and-"

"No one even looks up." He finished my quote perfectly and I stared at him with an open mouth.

"How did you…?" He gave me a wry little smile.

"You aren't the only special one here. Remember, I'm a victor too."

"But that doesn't mean that-"

"They give me things to amuse myself with in my hotel room, and on the train. I like to watch those old movies, they make me forget where I am for the time at hand. They make me feel like I could be in a better world." He said.

I couldn't have explained it better. The wistfulness in his tired eyes was like a plaque, spreading to everyone who had ever taken their place in the Hunger Games and made it out alive, that number was substantially less after the most recent quarter quell.

I pulled him into me, our bodies pressed tightly against one another as we swayed to the music. I desperately wanted to be back home – in District 12. I wanted to be able to tell Haymitch and Caius that I was okay. I could tell them that I was relatively unharmed by everything, minus a few more terrifying additions to my nightmares and that niggling sensation that came whenever I thought about why I had been shot at in District 2.

Otherwise I was… fine. Just fine.

Peeta's lips leant in close to my ear. "I do believe we're on a sinking ship." He whispered.

I smiled and leant my cheek against his so that I could whisper right back into his ear.

"You know what? I think you're right." I said.

This night was almost over, I couldn't wait for this entire tour to be over. But it wouldn't really be over and done would it? I still have so much more to do.

I guess the question now is when will it be over, and can we really do enough to win?


End file.
